Crackerjackmack’s Weblog

woo hoo! i just now got out of the shower, so i suppose i’m still riding the wave of adrenaline before the pain and fatigue and delirium set in. i was pretty nervous in the days leading up to this. it was going to be the longest distance i had run outside. i’ve done 10 miles on the treadmill before, but my longest outdoor run has been 7.5 miles in Bloomsday, this year and last. i knew i could do it, and i gave myself permission to go slow when i needed to, and even walk a block if i had to. but still, i was going back and forth between being really nervous and thinking that i was a total superstar. i slept well thursday, which is the sleep that really counts, and then not so well last night. but i wasn’t worried about that. set the alarm for 4:20a, but i knew i’d wake up before that, and i did. so i was out the door at about 5am, which was perfect. very few people out, the sun beginning to creep up enough that it wasn’t dark, the temperature perfect.

the first few miles felt pretty good. i made myself take them slow because i knew that was wise, and because i wasn’t worried about timing this run. i stopped after mile 2 for some water, then i did the 3 mile loop, and still felt ok. stopped after mile 5 for some water and a gel pack. (by the way, those things are nasty, but they are convenient and they do something important, so you do what you gotta. maybe i just need to try the other flavors.) then i did the 3 mile loop again and i was starting to feel it. at the end of that loop, i had already gone further than any other outdoor run, but i still felt like, you know, i can do this. so i stopped for a little more water. as i headed out for the last two miles, i was planning spots ahead where i would walk if i had to. but i did not, i did the last two miles without stopping at all and i felt really good about it. i even had a smile on my face for part of it. which is a bigger deal than i want to admit, but it’s part of the mental game, which i am just starting to figure out with this running biz-nass. the simple act of putting a smile on your face, even if you have to consciously activate the muscles, really permeates you. and you start thinking differently. this is the kind of thing i read in a magazine and say, yeah right. but when you actually do it, it’s amazing what it does. preaching over.

so, my final time was 1:46:58. that’s minus the minutes that i stopped and had water, but not minus any pausing i did for traffic. that’s ok, because there was very little of that today. the average pace per mile is a little slow, around 10:40, but seriously, wtf do i even care?? i just ran ten miles, baby, and that feels pretty great. there’s thinking you can do it, and there’s knowing you can do it, and even beyond that, there is just plain doing it. and now i have. the half-marathon doesn’t feel quite as out of reach as it did before.

and seriously, i know the fatigue and pain will set in, but right now i’m kind of going, is this it? am i even sure i did the full ten? ha, i’m sure i’ll read this later today or tomorrow as i’m icing my everywhere and laugh and laugh.